ALWAYS LAUGH WHEN YOU CAN – IT’S CHEAP MEDICINE

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A bit of fun with words…….
Lexophile:
Lexophile” is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless.”

A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location.
This year’s winning submission is posted at the very end.

…. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
…. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
…. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
…. The batteries were given out free of charge.
…. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
…. A will is a dead giveaway.
…. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
…. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
…. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
…. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
…. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
…. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
…. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
…. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
…. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
…. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
…. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

And the cream of the twisted crop:
…. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end!

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About turtlemom3

Early 70’s Orthodox Christian, wife, mother, grandmother, nurse with PhD, disabled. Have wonderful service dog - Warrior! Married to the Ol’ Curmudgeon - and I’m pretty doggone happy about that! Interests: Orthodox Christianity; reading; service dogs; computers, woodworking Greatest Life Experiences: Converting to Orthodoxy, Caving in Idaho, Attending Russian Orthodox Choir Conference (Oh! that music!). Favorite Things Back in High School: Reading; classical music - nerdy things. Favorite Things Back in College: Reading; classical music - nerdy things Favorite Things to do Now: Reading; classical music, computer stuff, surfing the internet - nerdy things - no real change! Favorite TV Programs: Anything about Sci-fi or forensics - or both? Favorite Movies: The Chosen; Ostrov; 84 Charing Cross Rd; Air Force One; Becket; Indiana Jones; Star Wars; Favorite Music: Russian Orthodox (Christian) chant; Bach; Mozart's Magic Flute Favorite Quote: The body is a slave, the soul a sovereign, and therefore it is due to Divine mercy when the body is worn out by illness: for thereby the passions are weakened, and a man comes to himself; indeed, bodily illness itself is sometimes caused by the passions.”~*~ St. Seraphim of Sarov, Spiritual Instructions Favorite Authors: Robert Heinlein; Mercedes Lackey; Anne MacCaffrey, Fr. Steven Ritter, Sarah Elizabeth Cowrie, St. Nikolai Velimirovic - among many others

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