A List of Funnies! Enjoy!

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1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through the Forest? They Take The Psychopath

4. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On the Ice too Long? Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn’t Work? A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn’t Yours? Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa’s Helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters in Quicksand? Quatro Cinco.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean and Twitches? A Nervous Wreck.

14. What’s The Difference Between Roast Beef and Pea Soup? Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don’t Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares Their Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served on the Titanic? Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley and a Hoover?! The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims’ Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.

21. What’s The Difference Between a Bad Golfer and a Bad Skydiver? A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How is a Texas Tornado and a Tennessee Divorce the Same? Somebody’s Gonna Lose A Trailer.

And, now–last but not least…

** Your Health Reminder of the Week **

Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

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About turtlemom3

Early 70’s Orthodox Christian, wife, mother, grandmother, nurse with PhD, disabled. Have wonderful service dog - Warrior! Married to the Ol’ Curmudgeon - and I’m pretty doggone happy about that! Interests: Orthodox Christianity; reading; service dogs; computers, woodworking Greatest Life Experiences: Converting to Orthodoxy, Caving in Idaho, Attending Russian Orthodox Choir Conference (Oh! that music!). Favorite Things Back in High School: Reading; classical music - nerdy things. Favorite Things Back in College: Reading; classical music - nerdy things Favorite Things to do Now: Reading; classical music, computer stuff, surfing the internet - nerdy things - no real change! Favorite TV Programs: Anything about Sci-fi or forensics - or both? Favorite Movies: The Chosen; Ostrov; 84 Charing Cross Rd; Air Force One; Becket; Indiana Jones; Star Wars; Favorite Music: Russian Orthodox (Christian) chant; Bach; Mozart's Magic Flute Favorite Quote: The body is a slave, the soul a sovereign, and therefore it is due to Divine mercy when the body is worn out by illness: for thereby the passions are weakened, and a man comes to himself; indeed, bodily illness itself is sometimes caused by the passions.”~*~ St. Seraphim of Sarov, Spiritual Instructions Favorite Authors: Robert Heinlein; Mercedes Lackey; Anne MacCaffrey, Fr. Steven Ritter, Sarah Elizabeth Cowrie, St. Nikolai Velimirovic - among many others

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