Old Age at Its Best


Carmon and Bill, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Carmon didn’t show up. Bill didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.

But after Carmon hadn’t shown up for a week or so, Bill really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Bill didn’t know where Carmon lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Bill figured he had seen the last of Carmon, but one day,

Bill approached the park and– lo and behold!–there sat Carmon! Bill was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.

Then he said, “For crying out loud, Carmon, what in the world happened to you?”

Carmon replied, “I have been in jail.”

“Jail!” cried Bill. What in the world for?”

“Well,” Carmon said, “you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?”

“Yeah,” said Bill, “I remember her. What about her?

“Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded, “Guilty.”

“The judge gave me 30-days for perjury.”


About turtlemom3

Early 70’s Orthodox Christian, wife, mother, grandmother, nurse with PhD, disabled. Have wonderful service dog - Warrior! Married to the Ol’ Curmudgeon - and I’m pretty doggone happy about that! Interests: Orthodox Christianity; reading; service dogs; computers, woodworking Greatest Life Experiences: Converting to Orthodoxy, Caving in Idaho, Attending Russian Orthodox Choir Conference (Oh! that music!). Favorite Things Back in High School: Reading; classical music - nerdy things. Favorite Things Back in College: Reading; classical music - nerdy things Favorite Things to do Now: Reading; classical music, computer stuff, surfing the internet - nerdy things - no real change! Favorite TV Programs: Anything about Sci-fi or forensics - or both? Favorite Movies: The Chosen; Ostrov; 84 Charing Cross Rd; Air Force One; Becket; Indiana Jones; Star Wars; Favorite Music: Russian Orthodox (Christian) chant; Bach; Mozart's Magic Flute Favorite Quote: The body is a slave, the soul a sovereign, and therefore it is due to Divine mercy when the body is worn out by illness: for thereby the passions are weakened, and a man comes to himself; indeed, bodily illness itself is sometimes caused by the passions.”~*~ St. Seraphim of Sarov, Spiritual Instructions Favorite Authors: Robert Heinlein; Mercedes Lackey; Anne MacCaffrey, Fr. Steven Ritter, Sarah Elizabeth Cowrie, St. Nikolai Velimirovic - among many others

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