You are a Doris — “I must help others.”
Dorises are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people’s needs.
How to Get Along with Me
- * Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
- * Share fun times with me.
- * Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
- * Let me know that I am important and special to you.
- * Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
In Intimate Relationships
- * Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
- * Reassure me often that you love me.
- * Tell me I’m attractive and that you’re glad to be seen with me.
What I Like About Being a Doris
- * being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
- * knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
- * being generous, caring, and warm
- * being sensitive to and perceptive about others’ feelings
- * being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor
What’s Hard About Being a Doris
- * not being able to say no
- * having low self-esteem
- * feeling drained from overdoing for others
- * not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
- * criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
- * being upset that others don’t tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
- * working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings
Dorises as Children Often
- * are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
- * try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
- * are outwardly compliant
- * are popular or try to be popular with other children
- * act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
- * are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Dorises), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Dorises)
Dorises as Parents
- * are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren’t)
- * are often playful with their children
- * wonder: “Am I doing it right?” “Am I giving enough?” “Have I caused irreparable damage?”
- * can become fiercely protective
Thanks to Meg for setting me onto this!