HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2029

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Ozone Created By Electric Cars Now Killing Millions
in Seventh Largest Country in the World, Mexifornia, Formerly Known as California

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White Minorities Still Trying to Have English Recognized
As Mexifornia’s Third Language

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Spotted Owl Plague Threatens NW US
Crops and Livestock

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Baby Conceived Naturally!
Scientists Stumped!

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Iran Still Closed Off
Physicists Estimate it Will Take at Least 10 More Years
Before Radioactivity Decreases to Safe Levels

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France Pleads for Global Help after Being Taken over By Jamaica
No Other Country Comes Forward to Help the Beleaguered Nation

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Castro Finally Dies at Age 112 – Cuban Cigars Can Now Be Imported Legally,
But President Chelsea Clinton Has Banned All Smoking

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George Z. Bush Says He Will Run for President in 2036

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Postal Service Raises Price of First Class Stamp to $17.89
Reduces Mail Delivery to Wednesdays Only

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Results of 85-year $75.8 Quadrillion Study:
Diet and Exercise Keys to Weight Loss

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Average Weight of Americans Drops to 250 Lbs

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Global Cooling Blamed for Citrus Crop Failure for Third Consecutive Year
in Mexifornia and Floruba

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Japanese Scientists Create Camera with Such Rapid Shutter Speed
It Can Photograph a Woman with Her Mouth Shut

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Senate Continues to Block Drilling in ANWR
Gas Now Selling for 40,532 Pesos per Liter
Gas Stations to be Open Only
on Tuesdays and Fridays

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Massachusetts Executes Last Remaining Conservative

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Supreme Court Rules Punishment of Criminals Violates Their Civil Rights

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Average Height of NBA Players Is Now Nine Feet, Seven Inches.

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New Federal Law Requires All Nail Clippers, Screwdrivers, Fly Swatters
& Rolled-up Newspapers must Be Registered by January 2030

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IRS Sets Lowest Tax Rate at 75 Percent

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Floruba Voters Still Having Trouble with Voting Machines

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About turtlemom3

Early 70’s Orthodox Christian, wife, mother, grandmother, nurse with PhD, disabled. Have wonderful service dog - Warrior! Married to the Ol’ Curmudgeon - and I’m pretty doggone happy about that! Interests: Orthodox Christianity; reading; service dogs; computers, woodworking Greatest Life Experiences: Converting to Orthodoxy, Caving in Idaho, Attending Russian Orthodox Choir Conference (Oh! that music!). Favorite Things Back in High School: Reading; classical music - nerdy things. Favorite Things Back in College: Reading; classical music - nerdy things Favorite Things to do Now: Reading; classical music, computer stuff, surfing the internet - nerdy things - no real change! Favorite TV Programs: Anything about Sci-fi or forensics - or both? Favorite Movies: The Chosen; Ostrov; 84 Charing Cross Rd; Air Force One; Becket; Indiana Jones; Star Wars; Favorite Music: Russian Orthodox (Christian) chant; Bach; Mozart's Magic Flute Favorite Quote: The body is a slave, the soul a sovereign, and therefore it is due to Divine mercy when the body is worn out by illness: for thereby the passions are weakened, and a man comes to himself; indeed, bodily illness itself is sometimes caused by the passions.”~*~ St. Seraphim of Sarov, Spiritual Instructions Favorite Authors: Robert Heinlein; Mercedes Lackey; Anne MacCaffrey, Fr. Steven Ritter, Sarah Elizabeth Cowrie, St. Nikolai Velimirovic - among many others

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