Wisdom!

Standard

*God didn’t mean for women over 50 to have babies because He knew they would put them down and forget where they left them.

*A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills… she has 14 kids but doesn’t really care.

*One of life’s mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

*My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

*The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

*The nice part about living in a small town is that if you don’t remember what you have done, someone else will.

*The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

*Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

*Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

*I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing to gether and setting fire to my knicker’s.

*Amazing!  You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

*Skinny people irritate me!  Especially when they say things like…’You know sometimes I forget to eat!’ …..Now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat.  You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

*The trouble with some folks is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry it.

*I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast.  Are they kidding?  That’s my idea of a perfect day!

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About turtlemom3

Early 70’s Orthodox Christian, wife, mother, grandmother, nurse with PhD, disabled. Have wonderful service dog - Warrior! Married to the Ol’ Curmudgeon - and I’m pretty doggone happy about that! Interests: Orthodox Christianity; reading; service dogs; computers, woodworking Greatest Life Experiences: Converting to Orthodoxy, Caving in Idaho, Attending Russian Orthodox Choir Conference (Oh! that music!). Favorite Things Back in High School: Reading; classical music - nerdy things. Favorite Things Back in College: Reading; classical music - nerdy things Favorite Things to do Now: Reading; classical music, computer stuff, surfing the internet - nerdy things - no real change! Favorite TV Programs: Anything about Sci-fi or forensics - or both? Favorite Movies: The Chosen; Ostrov; 84 Charing Cross Rd; Air Force One; Becket; Indiana Jones; Star Wars; Favorite Music: Russian Orthodox (Christian) chant; Bach; Mozart's Magic Flute Favorite Quote: The body is a slave, the soul a sovereign, and therefore it is due to Divine mercy when the body is worn out by illness: for thereby the passions are weakened, and a man comes to himself; indeed, bodily illness itself is sometimes caused by the passions.”~*~ St. Seraphim of Sarov, Spiritual Instructions Favorite Authors: Robert Heinlein; Mercedes Lackey; Anne MacCaffrey, Fr. Steven Ritter, Sarah Elizabeth Cowrie, St. Nikolai Velimirovic - among many others

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