The Republican Fisherman

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A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, ‘Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.’

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, ‘You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.’

She rolled her eyes and said, ‘You must be a Republican.’

‘I am,’ replied the man. ‘How did you know?’

‘Well,’ answered the balloonist, ‘ every thing you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.’

The man smiled and responded, ‘You must be a Democrat.’

‘I am,’ replied the balloonist. ‘How did you know?’

‘Well,’ said the man, ‘you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it’s my fault.’

Thanks to Shinozi!

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About turtlemom3

Early 70’s Orthodox Christian, wife, mother, grandmother, nurse with PhD, disabled. Have wonderful service dog - Warrior! Married to the Ol’ Curmudgeon - and I’m pretty doggone happy about that! Interests: Orthodox Christianity; reading; service dogs; computers, woodworking Greatest Life Experiences: Converting to Orthodoxy, Caving in Idaho, Attending Russian Orthodox Choir Conference (Oh! that music!). Favorite Things Back in High School: Reading; classical music - nerdy things. Favorite Things Back in College: Reading; classical music - nerdy things Favorite Things to do Now: Reading; classical music, computer stuff, surfing the internet - nerdy things - no real change! Favorite TV Programs: Anything about Sci-fi or forensics - or both? Favorite Movies: The Chosen; Ostrov; 84 Charing Cross Rd; Air Force One; Becket; Indiana Jones; Star Wars; Favorite Music: Russian Orthodox (Christian) chant; Bach; Mozart's Magic Flute Favorite Quote: The body is a slave, the soul a sovereign, and therefore it is due to Divine mercy when the body is worn out by illness: for thereby the passions are weakened, and a man comes to himself; indeed, bodily illness itself is sometimes caused by the passions.”~*~ St. Seraphim of Sarov, Spiritual Instructions Favorite Authors: Robert Heinlein; Mercedes Lackey; Anne MacCaffrey, Fr. Steven Ritter, Sarah Elizabeth Cowrie, St. Nikolai Velimirovic - among many others

3 responses »

  1. Pingback: The Republican Fisherman | Politics in America

  2. Maybe it’s the Republican in me but the co-ordinates “don’t fly”. They put you on a street in Western Texas. I’ve corrected the co-ordinates and altitude. What can I say… it’s the Republican in me. Also changed it to a male Dem, now that the Reps are the ones with female on the ticket:

    A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He lowered his altitude and spotted a fisherman in a boat below. He shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet her an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

    The fisherman consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 253 feet above sea level. You are at 36 degrees, 19 minutes, 58 seconds north latitude and 89 degrees, 37 minutes, 8 seconds west longitude.”

    The balloonist rolled his eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

    “I am,” replied the fisherman.” How did you know?”

    “Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

    The fisherman smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.”

    “I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

    “Well,” said the fisherman, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it’s my fault.

    (p.s. I guess it’s just the republican in me… but I checked Google Maps/Earth and USGS.gov to see if the joke’s original coordinates and altitude matched up with what must have to be a body of water. They didn’t. But they do now)

  3. Thanks, Jim! It just didn’t occur to me to check those coordinates – it’s just a joke, but I guess the joke is on me! LOL! I’m registered Republican, too (although I’m much more conservative than all of the candidates), and I didn’t get OC about it. But I seldom get OC about things (contrary to what my kids may think).
    Cheerio!
    turtlemom

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