In Honor of Stupid People – –

Standard

In Honour of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof that the human race
is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer —
Do not use while sleeping.
(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos —
‘You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary. Details inside.’
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap —
‘Directions: Use like regular soap.’
(and that would be??? . . .)

On some Swanson frozen dinners —
‘Serving suggestion: Defrost.’
(but, it’s just a suggestion.)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) —
‘Do not turn upside down.’
(well . . . duh, a bit late, right?)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding —
‘Product will be hot after heating.’
(. . . and you thought???? . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron – –
‘Do not iron clothes on body.’
(but wouldn’t this save me time?)

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine —
‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medication.’
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just get
those 5 year-olds with head-colds
off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid —
‘Warning: May cause drowsiness.’
( . . . and I’m taking this because??? . . .)

On most brands of Christmas lights – –
‘For indoor or outdoor use only.’
(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor – –
‘Not to be used for the other use.’
(now, somebody out there,
help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts – –
‘Warning: contains nuts’
(talk about your news flash . . .)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts —
‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.’
(Step 3: say what?)

On a child’s Superman costume —
‘Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.’
(I don’t blame the company.
I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw —
‘Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.’
(Oh my God!! Is there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the
stupidity and tell anyone you want to bring a smile to
(maybe even chuckle to) about this post!

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About mtriggs

My wife says I was "born old." Well, maybe. After a rough-in-places life, I've reached the point I think I can expound from time to time. So I will. Born in St. Louis, raised in Decatur Ga. Married disasterously, divorced, married to #2 - successfully now for 30 years. Converted to Orthodox Christianity - member of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia. May post something about that later. Children - 3 - not bio, but they are mine and I love 'em. Grandkids - 10 or 11 or 12 or something. Only 1 girl among 'em. Need more girls, but the kids are "through" reproducing. Hobbies - woodworking, woodturning. Like to listen to classical music. Politically EXTREMELY conservative in the true sense of the word. I seem to say "Harumph" a lot more than I used to...

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