Old Tombstones

Standard

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York :
Born 1903–Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see
if the car was on the way down.
It was.

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In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist,
all dressed up and no place to go.

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On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery ,
Nova Scotia :
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
Only The Good Die Young.

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In a London , England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid but died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

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In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast…
Pardon me for not rising.

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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

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A lawyer’s epitaph in England :

Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.

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John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne, England , cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

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In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :

On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

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Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls , Vermont :

Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

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On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket , Massachusetts :

Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there’s only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.

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In a cemetery in England :

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I’ll not consent …
Until I know which way you went.

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About mtriggs

My wife says I was "born old." Well, maybe. After a rough-in-places life, I've reached the point I think I can expound from time to time. So I will. Born in St. Louis, raised in Decatur Ga. Married disasterously, divorced, married to #2 - successfully now for 30 years. Converted to Orthodox Christianity - member of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia. May post something about that later. Children - 3 - not bio, but they are mine and I love 'em. Grandkids - 10 or 11 or 12 or something. Only 1 girl among 'em. Need more girls, but the kids are "through" reproducing. Hobbies - woodworking, woodturning. Like to listen to classical music. Politically EXTREMELY conservative in the true sense of the word. I seem to say "Harumph" a lot more than I used to...

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