QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME – –

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Can you cry under water?


 

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

 


Why do you have to “put your two cents in”.. but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?


Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

 


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


What disease did cured ham actually have?  TRUE IN GEORGIA ! 

 


 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 


 

Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

 


 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 



Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

 


 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 


 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

 


 

Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

 


 

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

 


 

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

 


 

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

 


 

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

 


 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

 


 

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME STUFF, Why didn’t he just buy dinner?

 


 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

 


 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

 


 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

 


 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

 


 

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

 


 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

 


 

Are you wondering why you decided to read this in the first place?

 


Thanks to Lfire!

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About turtlemom3

Early 70’s Orthodox Christian, wife, mother, grandmother, nurse with PhD, disabled. Have wonderful service dog - Warrior! Married to the Ol’ Curmudgeon - and I’m pretty doggone happy about that! Interests: Orthodox Christianity; reading; service dogs; computers, woodworking Greatest Life Experiences: Converting to Orthodoxy, Caving in Idaho, Attending Russian Orthodox Choir Conference (Oh! that music!). Favorite Things Back in High School: Reading; classical music - nerdy things. Favorite Things Back in College: Reading; classical music - nerdy things Favorite Things to do Now: Reading; classical music, computer stuff, surfing the internet - nerdy things - no real change! Favorite TV Programs: Anything about Sci-fi or forensics - or both? Favorite Movies: The Chosen; Ostrov; 84 Charing Cross Rd; Air Force One; Becket; Indiana Jones; Star Wars; Favorite Music: Russian Orthodox (Christian) chant; Bach; Mozart's Magic Flute Favorite Quote: The body is a slave, the soul a sovereign, and therefore it is due to Divine mercy when the body is worn out by illness: for thereby the passions are weakened, and a man comes to himself; indeed, bodily illness itself is sometimes caused by the passions.”~*~ St. Seraphim of Sarov, Spiritual Instructions Favorite Authors: Robert Heinlein; Mercedes Lackey; Anne MacCaffrey, Fr. Steven Ritter, Sarah Elizabeth Cowrie, St. Nikolai Velimirovic - among many others

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